This article and its content may not be applicable to everyone, but just maybe you will learn something from it, so here we go:
Memories, what we create in life are memories, and they are shaped and formed by various ways and reasons, maybe your 5th birthday party, your first thought of looking into the open and vast heavens above, wondering what life may hold for you. These are the innocent memories, the memories, even that of a child.
Memories are precious, remember your first toy, yeah! nothing would separate you from your love for certain activities, play in the mud, build your first sand castle only to have it broken and brought to shambles because you see life is nothing but unfair to all of us.
Some memories are created by circumstance, which may either be of your or by another's doing or words. You are so beautiful because this is what you saw this life as at first to be, then as time started to fade to grey, we constantly banked memories to our memory bank of life for a future.
A previous memory or happenstance that made you the man and woman you are today, maybe you had an abusive father, who knows the memories you hold, you know, maybe your blood father molested or sexually abused you as a child, and it remains a memory not easy to forget or even to erase. This may alter your love life, even for the rest of your own married life.
Some of you can't even remember if your father ever said the most valued words a child must know: "I love you" no, you did not hear these simplistic yet crucial three words...ever, beating after beating, even your mother was beaten to a pulp and an alcoholic father that often would beat on you too.
Memories is all that holds us together, they are the glue of life, they are the cornerstone of your development into your adulthood, even till your last dying breath.
Jesus our Lord and savior looked at this crooked earth and realized it needs only two commandments...One: "To Love "Agape" God will all your Heart, Might, and Strength, and the second is like it: "To Love "Felio" your neighbor as yourself", point blank, period.
I tell you now, your formed memories of life have shaped you to be what are today. Don't you for one moment think there exist penitentiaries for the sound of mind...no, they are broken memories, with broken hearts, and also did not have a father to tell them that they are loved.
I have quite recently visited a juvenile prison, my friend was testifying, and all the time I felt this unquenchable need for these youngsters to hear the words: "I Love You", In fact, the atmosphere in that room was so loaded with a longing for these three words.
People, as a rule, do not care how much you know, until they know how much you care, as in the case of these juvenile prisoners. I tell you, as I entered through all the security checks and doors, I never felt so free in my life, funny as this might sound, I felt right at home...why? This is simply because of the dire need and hunger for Love as only a few of them have known, not from a father, mother or even a friend.
They are the outcast that the Lord loves to work with. If you want to meet God and truly impact lives, make more stops where the need is the greatest, it is at this point where God shows up and shows Himself stronger.
Will you die too, having not known love? Many of you will not endeavor to continue reading this article, simply because I am pressing my finger into an open wound that is to be healed, and so this must be done to identify the memories that kept you trapped and captive all of your life up to this point in time.
As for myself, I was so severely victimized "demonized" continually and badly rejected by the church of the hour, unfortunately, I have bad memories banked without any a hint neither a longing for church. The only time you will catch me in a church is when I am dead.
I was so deeply wounded, it has taken me 20 or od years to recover, but I chose not to become bitter, but rather the better one. See, all these certain personalities have actually made me a stronger and better man, that I am. A very special love you to all my victimizers, love ya all so much, just stay away from me.
I suffer from the worst possible disease known to mankind and the whole of the medical fraternity, which is a mental disease aptly: "Schizophrenia" this condition is degenerative, trust me, it gets worse as time progresses. The symptoms may include as per my case in all of my sensory areas such as: "hear voices, see stuff, feel stuff, etc".
Quite recently I have had 4 additional ECT's (Electro Convulsive Treatments) or in plain words: "Brain shock treatments". In the span of the past 20 years, I have had a total sum of 25 of these brain shock treatments. Not because there is nothing wrong with me, but for the very fact that there is something not quite right, as per my case, severe depression.
Has it not been for my bad experiences with the church, I most certainly would not have circummed to this condition. Although Schizophrenia is a no-fault disorder, how the ever, can be triggered or given onset by severe stressful scenarios, in my situation, my bad experiences and memoirs of the church. You should go to a Good, Holy Spirit filled, Bible-based church, as for me and my prognosis, it is not a good idea, I usually leave more messed up than before entering the church service, this is just me, not you!
Time and memories go hand in hand, the most crucial developmental age of a child is from prenatal development until the age of six. The child's mind is literally like a sponge. I have witnessed some photo's that are still stuck in my memory bank, a child, age two, beaten to a pulp, both arms, both legs broken, bashed against the wall, why?...cause the kid did not stop crying...this breaks me.
How can this child live or for all practical reasons live a normal life at all I must ask, cause we are so easy to comment on someone's suicide, not knowing the memory lane of the person. It is just so that most suicides occur during the most festive of seasons...Christmas and New Year. Why? One must ask, I will allow you the opportunity to fill the answer to this question by yourself...
I would like you to know this much, if you kick your dog, for example, every time you return home, your dog will love you no more, it remembers and will run for its life at the sight of you.
You see, if this is true of an animal, as in this scenario a dog, how much the more would a human being not be affected by constant victimization and rejection, I know what I am talking about and trust me in this, this is a common fact, you are so precious to God, He does not want to hurt you at all, sin is the only thing that stings.
Memories are the most powerful catalyst and attribute that will make you...you!
If ever there was a special rubber to erase certain memories that left you in pieces, and till this day you bear the consequences. These memories cannot be deleted or even put aside. You never in your life thought that life will alter you like the person you have become, just because your daddy used to beat on your mommy.
As for many of you, you just simply hold absolutely no memory of a father or mother at all, they are buried, no memories attached. Just an empty void, and yet you might have fallen victim to this reality and taken into foster care. You, you need to know why?
How could they leave you so alone, broken, shattered and maimed for life, that may very well flow over into generations to come.
You are then indeed a thought, a memory, sincerely a good one, or one of much brokenness and shame. Some of you have been shaped into something obscene from your childhood dreams, you used these very words: "I will not be like my mom or dad". Guess what, you became their very blueprint, you hate your life, you hate yourself, you hate life, you hate God.
You can barely stare into the mirror, cause all it reflects is pain and a very broken person. I will not stretch this article much further cause I can feel some of you already, this article is by far the most difficult pieces of literature you have ever read.
I want to help you today, see, because one day when you die, you too, would remain a memory to others, and it is with this in mind that others will conduct their life stories too. Your seed and offspring may carry this burdensome curse of rejection for generations to come.
It is time. And I don't expect you to forget, I need you to let go.
Let go my dearest. Just let it go...