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Why? Should be a great hit word for this article, seen that most people out there that suffer with me should know the answer too? Is life not fair? Yes, it came as a very hard place in my life where I needed to come to terms that God actually does not hate me, neither has He thrown me away or fed to the swine.

Oh! You are a star, a winner, a victor, a bright and shining star, but in real life application this rule or saying even thought sometimes dissipates like thin air. Yes brother, hallelujah! You just keep on praying, with all do respect, I can reflect on this too! Do I pray for myself…no! A Faith I am yet to receive.

The message conveyed in many churches is for better words in Afrikaans: “Liewe Jesus”. Please, don’t get me wrong. He is God come in flesh to deliver a Good Word, salvation for all humanity and ultimately took all the pain and shame on himself and this exactly the point I am working towards with this writing.

Yes, you have been a bad boy or girl, but hey! As long as you don’t come to the ultimatum that you have figured God out, or mapped Him out or put it to pen. Most obviously if you think you are God, then you have the more serious sin. I have grown up in church. Looking back over my shoulder at my days of old. If I could have done this over, I think I would have taken a better path.

What are you trying to say Jaco? Quite simply this: “We learn to clap hands in church, we learn all these things or even worse, quote scripture. Wow! How can you say that Jaco. Please friend, before you get all excited! Let me put it plain, we learn ALL the right things from childhood and most depart from the WAY and get mixed up completely, sincerely cause they just simply have no cooking clue who Satan is and what slander, destruction and death he is sowing all over the world.

Yeah! But hey, God hates me, He made me sick. Sorry pall, you have this all the wrong way around. God loves you unconditionally and paid the price on a cross to prove it too. He did not die in vain. The destructor aptly: “Satan” hates you friend and sincerely evilly, wickedly aspires from the core of his black dead heart, determined to get you to blame God!

Not to fear. Read your Word once again, get back to the basics. Discover your so professed God. Whether you find it in your heart to profess Him, why should then be a tedious task indeed to learn more about Him?

He is soooo! Beautiful. How did you obtain this knowledge Jaco? Quite simply, I am serious about God, I will walk to no end  to know Him just a little bit more with each faith step taken. Let’s wrap this article up. I want to paint a picture about myself, see, I was that kid that also learned all the right moves in church, but thank God I had a very real encounter with God, cause I refused to let Him go.

I am a Schizophrenic. If you ever thought this is a split personality as many do believe then I need to correct you. Schizophrenia is the worst long-term diagnoses found in medical fraternity. This may and does include symptoms such as hearing voices nonstop. Having hallucinations: “See stuff” and all sorts other complications to life. Jip! This is one sickness everyone is so scared of..hehe. But it is real and I have it friend.

So now how does one as myself place this in my heart of hearts? How will I build this confusing mixed up puzzle and make sense of it all? Here is the crux, you can’t. I have spent 60 plus weeks in mental institutions, had 21 brain-shock treatments. 20 plus hospitalizations, 4 months in a nursing. Have been seriously suffering constantly for 17 years straight, no breaks in-between

A chiefest of sinners pall. If you have had more hell. Please let me know?

If I can come to this conclusion after all and reach the ultimatum: “God is Good”. Wait there is something wrong with those two words, my God is more than just Good, I mean that is an insult, my God is a Genius, God almighty, everlasting Father, Emanuel…and I love Him so Much!


Jaco Basson